April [SHOWERS]

by Zay Rondon

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02:20
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02:46
5.
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credits

released April 15, 2016

All songs were written and performed by Zay Rondon except Verse 2 of [SHOWERS] which features Sam Jay. Tracks #1, #2, and #6 were produced by Zay Rondon. Tracks #3, #4, and #5 were produced by Jake Beats, Drew The Architect, and SᐂҜĦ respectively.

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Zay Rondon Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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Track Name: Rocket's Journal
Yea
This the sound of my glory, take it as an allegory
You probably won't understand the story until you get to know me
First thing you need to take in, I like things gory
Wild, disoriented, yet organized just for me
Don't show me what's the nicest when it's counterfeit
Give me something that's destroyed
See what I can make out of it
I want ruins rebuilt
I'm a Roman refurbished
Committed to flourish in life
Cause with death I flirted
Now working for everybody, I worked on myself
Not strictly old fucks who want my soul to sell
& To milk me, I was never a cow
& No sheep could utter the words that I speak now
Believe it or not, I'm a great fucking influence
I write
"FUCK CLASS"
On chalkboards, just to practice on my penmanship
Still drawing rockets, the moon, cartoons
Sketching past dreams that seem to be coming soon
My favorite recurring theme is everybody's doom
It's hard to digest me, I'm not handing you the spoon
I guess the poison that we're used to makes you nauseous to the truth
Explains why I'm constantly throwing up in the booth

...& Rocket's what you call em
Yea Rocket's what you call em

As I was saying...

I'm a bit hard to digest, first taste, grotesque
That's me wanting this Renaissance to turn out the best
It's a new world, new day, I find comfort & just play
Act & not pray, there's no going back to that day
Done with the dark age, in church I found no place
Catholic school for 6 years, now I worship Zay
Tour's my crusade, every concert a ritual
Had a divine experience with every single individual
Let's mosh as a family, show the world we're angry
Stage dive to hug my cousins, middle fingers up, we're happy
Don't worry about much, what's genuine is set in stone
Speak from the heart, I promise you'll never be alone
I know people don't fuck with me & I like that
Shit builds my confidence, let's me know I'm on the right path
& I won't let you curve my route into yours
I made this one for me, I got a world to explore

Bitch, it's Rocket
Track Name: Donnie Darkboul
IM TRYNA LIVE LIKE I ALREADY DIED
SUICIDE, DOORS OPEN & YA BITCH IS INSIDE
I KNOW YOU FEEL THE STING, THATS THE DEATH OF YA PRIDE
YOU GON FEEL LIKE MR WALLACE IF YOU BET AGAINST I
DAMN, BUT HOW OBNOXIOUS AM I
CAN'T EVEN GO OUTSIDE WITHOUT MAKING SOMEONE CRY
CAN'T EVEN MAKE A FRIEND WITHOUT STARTING UP A FIGHT
I DONT MEAN TO OFFEND, I DO IT WHEN I DON'T TRY

MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE LESS SENSITIVE
I'M JUST A FUCKING SENSELESS KID TRYNA MAKE THE BEST OF THIS
LIFE I WAS GIVEN, I AINT EVEN ASK FOR IT
& IF YOU DON'T LIKE HOW RAW I SHOW IT
PUT A MASK ON IT
YOU FUCKING PHONIES

FUCK THESE DRUGS, THEY AIN'T HELPING
I MISS THE DAYS I FELT THINGS
SO SOULLESS, BUT YOU KNOW THIS
OFF THE WAY IM TELLING
YOU
IT'S ALL COOL, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY
DEEP DOWN I JUST WANNA ASK YOU TO STAY

BUT FUCK HAVING FEELINGS NIGGA LET'S GET LIT
& FORGET ON THE INSIDE WE EMPTY ASHIT
& HOW WE BEEN SO LOST SINCE WE WERE LITTLE KIDS
& FEEL RESENTMENT TOWARDS THe WORLD & OUR PARENTS
ALRIGHT COOL
LOOKS LIKE THE PARTY'S GETTING STARTED
I'M STANDING HERE PRETENDING LIKE I GIVE A FUCK ABOUT IT
MY DICK DRY TONIGHT?
I DOUBT IT
NEED A BITCH THAT SNORTS POWDER,
YOU WANNA GET GROOVY BABY?
IM AUSTIN POWERS

& IM WILLING TO DIE FOR WHAT I LOVE
EVEN IF IT MEANS THEM NEVER KNOWING WHO I WAS
I BEEN HALLUCINATING EVERY DAY, HALFWAY TO INSANE
AM I REALLY HOME? MY ROOM FEELS JUST LIKE A PLANE

FUCK THESE DRUGS, THEY AIN'T HELPING
I MISS THE DAYS I FELT THINGS
SO SOULLESS, BUT YOU KNOW THIS
OFF THE WAY IM TELLING
YOU
IT'S ALL COOL, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY
DEEP DOWN I JUST WANNA ASK YOU TO STAY

& YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK
YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK
YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK
YOU CAN ALL SUCK MY DICK
Track Name: Cold
Watch me steal the show at ya funeral
Kill the competition, the usual, you work in a cubicle
Been thinking out the box on you squares
I think life is just as beautiful as it is unfair
So I live exaggerated like I'm speed racer
& that's how it'll be til I meet my maker
I guess the biggest problem's so many distractions
By magicians that's doing nothing more than hat tricks
Tryna put bread in my baskets, add friends to the banquets
That's been with me since Zan's teeth still had brackets
Now his girl's egg on it's way to hatching
But you know these boys'll still get it cracking
& I'm a soldier..
BOY
I like loud, so crank dat
Keep everything high, when I crash it's the Nasdaq
& I'm not from here, arrived on a meteor
I was racing Raditz, Nappa, & Tila Tequila to earth
(heh heh)
You're one in a million, bet I'll find another you
While I'm smoking more L's & taking W's
Let me just clear the air, bitch fuck you
& I don't need no lectures, why you think I cut school?
Always saw the importance in alternative routes
So instead of a cream pie I just bust in her mouth
& fuck all the bullshit, I'm just flushing it out
Along with hoes in my system, I feel healthier now
Fuck em

I know I'm so cold
On a road so cold
I've grown so cold
So cold so cold

There's ice in my veins & my heart turned to stone
But I'm proud to say I survived on my own
& For a while I put life on hold
But I've grown used to the snow, so on this road I go
Track Name: [SHOWERS]
Let the rain pour
Let it shower more

My ghost's figure disappears into the mirror
& I see my reflection, wondering where I fit in
Thinking of things, not much else to figure
Maybe the truth is we're here just living
No deeper meaning, life coming from semen
That ends on the cement, no angels or demons
Dreams, if you see them, nightmares if you're fleeing
& the end point is numbness if you're living off feeling
Hatred in your heart once you lost all love
Stream of thought goes dry tryna find where it runs
Everything adds up to the great contradiction
& What you hold close just grows more distant
If you love something, let it go before you kill it
Let go of everything, as a mean of fulfillment
Cause in the end, what really matters?
Nothing, everything, what’s in between and what's been scattered

Trust me, I've been in storms searching for silver linings
Rummaged through coal in search for diamonds
Gave you all of my time and still i never seemed to find shit
So Don't expect me to pay homage to your God when I'm starving
They say home is where the heart is
I have no home, I guess I'm heartless
So I smoke until I’m nauseous
Life's a trip but soon our flights will be departing
We'll be buried 6 feet deep in our finest garments
Maybe there's an afterlife
Maybe there's just darkness
So let the rain fall, let it pour
Let the holy water cleanse your soul
Let it shower some more
Track Name: Lazarus Effect
Being a hero was my dream at 8 years old
Now I transition to a villain, yall won't take my soul
Fuck the nice guy, switched to drive, I ain't neutral
I picked a side, cross the line, you die, that's the usual
I'm tryna move to Amsterdam, get high at my funeral
Use my urn to grow trees, make the viewing beautiful
Before that, royale with cheese, as I visit Jim's grave
White lighter in my pocket, joint rolled on a bible page
Wonder if what's being seen by my eyes is fake
It all turned to black, I know I can't fight my fate
But I'm not going down til every single bone breaks
& even then I'll find comfort in my brace
Swear I'm always good & I want it all
& If it's us or you, ya ass might get robbed
& no I'm not you rappers that's finnesin the plug
I know what it's like to supply, in return get no love

& They thought they left me for dead
Came back their worst nightmare
Lazarus Effect
Yea
Yea
They thought they left me for dead
Came back their worst nightmare
Lazarus Effect
What I once feared I now welcome
What I once feared I now welcome
Sayonara, got nothing else to tell them
I love me, fuck you, I know I'm so selfish

Got a couple homies that'll handle business for me
So sayonara to all the fools that fucking owe me
Sayonara to the memories of the old me
& sayonara to any shorty that didn't blow me
Niggas thought they left me for dead
I came back their worst nightmare, Lazarus effect
& I've been experimenting with DMT
Seeing is believing, best believe you see me living your dream
Bitch

& They thought they left me for dead
Came back their worst nightmare
Lazarus Effect
Yea
Yea
They thought they left me for dead
Came back their worst nightmare
Lazarus Effect
What I once feared I now welcome
What I once feared I now welcome
Sayonara, got nothing else to tell them
I love me, fuck you, I know I'm so selfish

& my eyes low, always looking like I need sleep
I've been working all week, on a 24 hit streak
& if I get to 25, it's bombs on you pipsqueaks
& they're atomic, effects lasting longer than this week
It's over
Track Name: Ain't Shit Blues
Ooh baby, you're giving me the blues
& that's my favorite color, except when it comes to you
I'm not a puppet on ya fucking string
& If you say the word I will not dance or sing
& to think, you were my favorite thing in this fucking world
When they asked what made me smile I would say "have you seen my girl?"
Shit, she's perfect...
Crazy how you went from that to totally worthless
I once heard, believe in women or the devil, shit's the same
I didn't believe a thang until this bitch came
Fucking around with lames just to get her revenge
I could give a fuck about your nigga, but say wassup to your friends
Heh...
I been better off since you left
So much less stress, & my list of bitches never ending
Wanted to settle down, still something I might do
I just gotta make sure I find someone nothing like you

These the ain't shit blues
Yea the ain't shit blues
These the ain't shit blues
You can say I ain't shit, but neither are you
These the ain't shit blues
Yea the ain't shit blues, bitch
These the ain't shit blues
You can say I ain't shit, but you ain't too

& I been flexing harder than I really have to
Cause fuck words, I'll find a better way to bash you
I know everybody who left is now jealous
You just see the smile on my face that says I care less
I swear I ain't choose this life, it chose me
When I decided my talent's more important than gold teeth
& material things, in a month, what will it mean?
I'll still have valid reasons you ain't better than me
I swear I love people, hate when they're surrounding
Just tryna take my energy, that's why I been without them
All alone, plotting, knowing no one can stop him
The crew's still rockets, I'm the pilot in the cockpit
& I won't lie at all, yea I been down
For about a year, I remember who counted me out
When I'm counting 1 thou, 2 thou, it's a million now
Where are you now? Still following the crowd
Damn

These... Are...
The ain't shit blues
Yea, the ain't shit blues
The ain't shit blues
You can say I ain't shit, but neither are youThe ain't shit blues
Yea, the ain't shit blues
These the ain't shit blues
You can say I ain't shit, but you ain't too
Bitch